Fun Business Fun Money Podcast
EP 065 – The NEW rules for leadership
Are you trying to fit into the pre-defined limits of traditional leadership?
Where women are lucky to get a seat at the table and have to prove themselves 10, 20, 100 times over just to get in the door?
Its long past time we all realised we don’t need that table. We don’t want that table at all.
We can create our OWN table with a new set of ‘rules’ that are far better suited to feminine leadership energy.
In this longer coaching episode we’re diving into the 8 new rules of leadership, based on Abby Wambach’s book “Wolfpack: How to come together, unleash our power and change the game.”
KEY MENTIONS
Wolfpack: How to come together, unleash our power and change the game” by Abby Wambach
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TRANSCRIPT
Hey there, and welcome back to the Fun Business Fun Money podcast!
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Alright! Lets crack on with today’s episode shall we??
If you’re listening in real time its the 8th of August 2023, a powerful spiritual date for those in the know! Set your intentions, people!
Its a nice coincidence that I felt inspired to talk about a really powerful topic right now…
The new rules for leadership
There’s a little back story to this one too.
Recently I was looking through some old content and videos that I created way back at the start of my business, 5 and a half years ago. Yes, it made me cringe a little because I could see how hard I was trying to convey my message, to make sure people ‘got me’.
The crazy thing is, people already ‘got me’. I just didn’t think that was the case at the time, so I kind of embodied this different version of myself instead.
I wasn’t owning ALL of my personality and utilising that as one of my natural talents. I just didn’t see that in myself.
It was absolutely a ‘hangover’ from my corporate life, which I was still in at the time, where I had to suppress my fun and creative side in order to fit in and conform to what others deemed ‘professional’.
So if thats how you feel as well, just know that you’re not alone.
Over the past 5 and a bit years I’ve discovered who my ‘wolfpack’ are. MY kind of people. And of course its not those frowny professionals in traditional corporate positions of power and influence. Not by a long shot!
MY kind of people are the fun-loving, creative ones with a big vision for whats possible and the desire to try new things.
They absolutely existed in my corporate career. In fact thats a big part of why the ‘dream team’ in my last corporate job worked so well together.
We were the admin team that worked closely together, making things happen behind the scenes, supporting each other to get the work done and looking out for each other.
The dream team were my biggest cheerleaders when I took the leap to go all in on my business in 2019. Shout out to my girls if you’re listening, you know who you are!
When you step into the world of business, being your own boss and forging your own path, you HAVE to step up and be a leader.
Even if its just leading yourself at the start, eventually you’re a leader for others as well, clients, customers, team members, your family, friends, everyone!
That can feel pretty uncomfortable, especially if you’re more used to following the lead and deferring to others for final permission or approvals rather than BEING the leader who makes those decisions.
I’ve read countless books and taken courses on leadership over the past 10 years or so, and most of them have the same themes that I saw in corporate – be bold, be the first to ask questions, be a team player, that sort of thing. All of which is quite masculine energy. It never quite worked for me.
Then in 2021 that I discovered a tiny but mighty little book by Abby Wambach called “Wolfpack: How to come together, unleash our power and change the game.”
When I say tiny but mighty, its only 110 pages, the audio book is just over an hour long. But it packs a mega punch in its tiny size, so don’t be put off thinking it can’t possibly have much substance in so few words.
I swear I had a lump in my throat, I was on the verge of tears the whole time I listened to it, its that good. It resonated so deeply.
I also love that theres a young readers edition, so if you have kids – especially girls or young women – teaching them this stuff will help change their futures as well.
Abby Wambach is a former US women’s national soccer player, 2 time Olympian and gold medallist, and, FUN FACT, she holds the record for the most international goals scored by any player ever, men and women included.
This book is basically the new rules for leadership from a feminine perspective. The book we’ve always wanted!
Rather than trying to fit into the pre-defined limits of traditional leadership where women are lucky to get a seat at the table and have to prove themselves 10, 20, 100 times over just to get in the door, its long past time we all realised we don’t need that table. We don’t want that table at all.
We can create our OWN table with a set of ‘rules’ that are far better suited to feminine leadership energy.
I’m a huge believer that women with money will change the world. But we can’t do that by banging on the door of the old boys club – leave them to it and do things YOUR way instead.
This isn’t a man bashing exercise, I HATE that stuff.
This is about masculine and feminine energy, which we all have within us regardless of our gender identification. How we use that energy is what ends up being expressed in our thoughts, words, actions and results.
The reality is that feminine energy has been dismissed and suppressed for centuries. I mean I’m pretty sure I’d have been called a witch and burnt at the stake back in the day simply for wanting everyone to be happy, to be seen as equals and rebelling against oppression!
What are these new ‘rules’ for feminine leadership, where you define your own wolfpack? Lets get into them!
1- CREATE YOUR OWN PATH
I LOVE this, simply because we’re all unique individuals and we all have something to contribute.
It doesn’t mean you have to leap into the wild and take the hardest possible route to get somewhere. You can follow the path created by others who have gone before you, but you can also take detours and side trips to admire the view from a different perspective.
Define your own systems and processes that work for YOU, don’t just blindly follow something thats perfect for someone who is a completely different personality type to you.
That seems easy at first but often ends up becoming the hardest route, like pushing through a swamp or a bog with your marketing instead of taking a different approach thats more suited to YOUR personality and energy.
2 – BE GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU HAVE AND DEMAND WHAT YOU DESERVE
This is a strong favourite of mine because of the AND.
Life isn’t an either or situation, who said you have to choose one thing over another? Thats a bullshit rule right there that we should all be questioning!
✅ You can have success AND a happy life.
✅ You can make bucketloads of money AND be a kind, caring human being.
✅ You can build and grow a successful business AND take time off so you’re not burning yourself out.
THAT is what you deserve, you just have to be clear about it AND appreciate what you have.
3 – LEAD NOW, FROM WHEREVER YOU ARE
Its easy to think you’re not a leader because you’re still learning, or you’re nowhere near the top of your industry, or you just don’t feel like you are. I don’t feel like I am most of the time either!
The important distinction here is that every single one of us is a leader.
Our traditional culture of leadership teaches us to look up to others, and in the process, compare ourselves to them.
Of course we’re going to find ourselves lacking when we do that!
Start right now from wherever you are and CHOOSE to lead. That means knuckling down, quit faffing about, you’ve got things to achieve in this world.
You’re doing yourself and the rest of the world a disservice when you allow negative thoughts and comparisonitis about your current situation to take over. That’ll take you out in a flash!
4 – FAILURE MEANS YOU’RE FINALLY IN THE GAME
You haven’t really tried until you’ve failed a few times. Like I said I’ve been officially coaching for five and a half years, but I’ve tried countless iterations of coaching between then and now.
They all had the potential to be ‘something’, but they ultimately didn’t work out. I learnt a lot from every experience though, and it has always felt like I’m IN the game, on the field, giving it a red hot go.
Embracing failure as a lesson learnt is one of the most powerful things we can do in business, life, money, everything.
Don’t beat yourself up when you fall flat on your face in the mud. Put your hand up for help and people magically appear to pick you up, dust you off and lovingly shove you back out onto the field to try again.
5 – BE FOR EACH OTHER
Theres nothing worse than those people who constantly seek to tear others down. They’re always competing as if life and business is the 1985 “Highlander” movie, where there can be only one winner of the ultimate prize.
I love that movie, I’ve been obsessed with it since 1985, but I hate that BS perspective! I especially despise when its women tearing other women down in the name of tradition or the patriarchal culture they believe to be all powerful. Its not. End of story.
There are more than enough clients, enough space, enough money, enough of EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE TO WIN.
Quit competing and start supporting each other more.
Cheer on the people around you, celebrate your wins AND theirs, commiserate the failures.
Be the one to pick someone up out of the mud, give them a pep talk and lovingly shove them back out onto the field to try again.
6 – BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. DEMAND THE BALL.
A soccer analogy! I love this one so much.
What Abby means by ‘demand the ball’ is when you KNOW you’ve got an opportunity to do something, it might be unconventional or a little out of the box – you have to DEMAND THE BALL. Make the pass and take the shot.
Stand up and be heard, make yourself visible so others take notice.
You’re your own best PR person, your biggest fan, you have to believe in YOU and what you’re capable of. Take action and demand the ball so you can take YOUR shot at smashing goals.
7 – LEAD WITH HUMANITY. CULTIVATE LEADERS.
This one is so aligned with feminine leadership energy its ridiculous.
THIS is how women will change the world, through compassion, humanity, empathy, emotional intelligence. You don’t have to shout to be heard.
Cultivating leaders means every person around us. Its not just about YOU, its your family, friends, your business support team, employees, co-workers, contractors, neighbours – everyone.
When you step into your leadership the people around naturally follow suit. They can’t help it!
8 – YOU’RE NOT ALONE. YOU’VE GOT YOUR PACK.
Being in business for yourself can be pretty lonely, especially when you work alone from home most of the time like I do.
You can go out to co-working spaces if thats your jam, personally I find it too much of a distraction for the work I do. I’d be sitting in an office space with my headphones on to block out everything else around me, I may as well stay home!
Thats why its super important to gather your own Wolfpack. The people who have your back no matter what.
You might have noticed as you get further into your business that you don’t have so much in common with old friends, old co-workers. It doesn’t mean you don’t still love and appreciate them, but you need different conversations.
You need some business besties. People like you who cheer you on and support you through the good stuff AND the bad stuff because they completely understand what you’re doing.
Those people might be local to you and you can meet up with them on the regular. Or they might be people you only know online.
I have a chat group called The Cheer Squad, which is comprised of myself and 3 other fabulous ladies that I’ve never met in person but I love and adore them, they totally get me, I get them. We also talk on the phone quite regularly, which is nice amongst the text and voice messages back and forth!
We have a diverse range of expertise and skills, so when we come together we’re able to support each other in ways we can’t do for ourselves. Everyone has a different perspective.
Find your Wolfpack. Your Cheer Squad. You really aren’t alone, all you have to do is put your hand up.
So there you have it, those are the 8 new rules for leadership. Of course rules are made to be broken so they’re more guidelines or principles to operate by. We all need a framework to work our magic around, right?
Those 8 ‘rules’ are:
1- Create your own path
2 – Be grateful for what you have AND demand what you deserve
3 – Lead now, from wherever you are
4 – Failure means you’re finally IN the game
5 – Be FOR each other
6 – Believe in yourself. Demand the ball.
7 – Lead with humanity. Cultivate leaders.
8 – You’re not alone. You’ve got your Pack.
Lets come together, unleash our power and change the game, shall we?
I could go on and on about this book and this topic because it sums up the driving force in everything I do…
Empowering women and anyone that feels marginalised by traditional cultural ‘standards’ to step into their own leadership, take control of their financial future and lead the way for others.
ESPECIALLY as an example for the next generation, the future leaders.
Quit playing by the outdated rules made up by stuffy old timey blokes who are CLEARLY not as smart as they think they are.
Try some new rules, you just might find everything feels lighter, better and a whole lot more fun.
So thats what I’ve got for you today. Who’s feeling inspired to be a leader now?? I always feel this fresh empowered energy when I read or listen to this book, its on regular rotation in my world.
I’d LOVE to hear your thoughts on this one, please send me a DM!
Send me a DM on Facebook or Instagram, I’m @funbusinessfunmoney, all one word.
Connect with me on LinkedIn and send me a DM there, just search for Deirdre Amies, I’m the only one in the world.
Or you can email hello@deirdreamies.com – you’ll find the links to all of those in the description of this episode, and in the show notes.
Obviously I HIGHLY recommend you grab yourself a copy of “Wolfpack: How to come together, unleash our power and change the game” by Abby Wambach. You’ll find a link to check it out in the show notes.
Its an absolute game changer for stepping into your own leadership, leading others, and being an all round decent human being.
I mean, thats the least we can do, right? 😉
Take care, have fun playing with your Wolfpack, and I’ll catch you in the next episode!
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