116: The gift of simple boundaries made easy
Fun Business Fun Money Podcast
Fed up with people crossing your boundaries with unwanted feedback and opinions? You’re not alone!
Too often women and marginalised people have their voices suppressed.
That leads to the very mistaken belief that YOUR experience isn’t important, your voice doesn’t matter. Or that you need ‘permission’ to do something.
Your experience IS important.
Your voice matters.
You don’t need permission.
In this quick tip episode I’m sharing TWO highly effective yet simple ways you can enforce boundaries. And they’re surprisingly easy to implement.
Check out the full episode below, or continue reading if you prefer words on a page…
Did you know the Universe is giving you intuitive nudges about boundaries?
I actually wasn’t sure where I was going to go with today’s topic, other than that whisper from the Universe that said “the right thing will show up as soon as you get started.”
I wrote myself a note earlier for next week’s email to be something about the gift of making things simple and easy. To release the pressure on yourself to be, do or have anything, and just ALLOW things to flow, let it be, to receive whatever comes through.
And just now when I said the word feedback, thats another nudge from the Universe about whats important.
How it shows up on social media
I was scrolling through Threads yesterday, as you do, I’m having a lot of fun over there! I was never a Twitter user, I signed up many years ago, took a look around and left immediately because it was so full on and overwhelming.
For those of you in Australia you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say it felt like I was in the middle of a flock of cockatoos. They’re super cool birds but they gang together in these massive flocks of several hundred, and have the loudest screaming matches at each other! Its a LOT!
Suffice to say thats too much for me, especially when it comes to a social media platform. But somehow Threads has a very different vibe and I’m liking it very much! So if you’re on Threads, give me a follow, I’m @funbusinessfunmoney, and I’ll most likely follow you back!
Boundaries are a powerful form of self care
I came across a post that said…
“I’m not requesting feedback” is one of the most powerful self care sentences we can say.
And I absolutely agree.
When you preface something with “I’m not looking for feedback, I just need to say this out loud”, you’re creating a simple, easy boundary for yourself.
Sometimes we just need to vent, to say something so its no longer just in our heads.
Whether that’s in a private Facebook group post, or you’re DMing someone, a friend, or an actual conversation with someone, its ok to be clear about what you’re looking for.
You don’t need to be saved! We don’t always want advice. Especially when there’s so much mansplaining and opinions on literally everything.
Its ok to express your thoughts about your own lived experience.
The phrase that reclaims your power in any conversation
There’s another phrase I love, and one I’ve used with great effect a number of times now. That is…
“I’m not asking permission”. You don’t need permission to do, be or have ANYTHING.
Let go of the idea that you ‘can’t’ do something. If you’re an adult and its within the clearly defined laws of society, you absolutely can.
(Although I have to say, there are definitely parts of the world that have lost the plot and think its ok to remove basic human rights with insane, draconian ‘laws’, that’s not cool. Yes, I’m looking at you, parts of the United States 👀)
You don’t need anyone’s permission to start a business, to share your expertise, to make offers.
You don’t need permission to raise your prices, to charge whatever the hell you want. WHATEVER the hell you want!
You don’t need anyone’s permission to do, be or have something different to what you’ve had before. And you also don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
When you preface the conversation with “I’m not asking permission, I’m telling you what I’m doing so you’re in the loop”, that means you’re creating another subtle yet very strong boundary.
This one is especially helpful when you want to invest money in your business, or in yourself. Something that will make a huge difference but it requires spending some money up front.
Demonstrate your boundaries through your actions
Its really important to be responsible about this kind of decision.
Crunch your numbers and know exactly what you’re going to do, by when and what kind of outcome you want to get from it.
That’s what I’ve got for you today. Lets call it a gift in the form of two empowered boundaries to make things simple and easy.
Write these down and practice saying them out loud so it feels simple and easy to say anytime you need them:
1 – I’m not looking for feedback, I just need to say this out loud.
2 – I’m not asking permission, I’m letting you know what I’m doing.
You’re an empowered, amazing human being.
You can express how you feel without asking for help or taking on anyone else’s opinion about your experience.
You can take action based on your own choices, without seeking permission or validation from anyone else.
Take care, have fun expressing yourself, and I’ll catch you in the next episode.
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