Fun Business Fun Money Podcast
EP 049 – Are you ready to be the breadwinner?
You can step up and be the main breadwinner in your family, right now.
If thats not yet your reality, there are some simple mindset shifts that can help you smash through the financial barriers.
You need to have the mindset of someone who makes the money you WANT to be making, long before you actually achieve that goal.
In this coaching episode we take a look at some of the reasons why women are still struggling to achieve pay equality.
We also cover some mindset shifts you can make to speed that process of becoming the amazing leader AND breadwinner you were always meant to be.
TRANSCRIPT
Hey there, and welcome to the Fun Business Fun Money podcast!
Today we’re diving into a really juicy topic which will help you take your money making abilities to the next level and beyond.
I always feel like Buzz Lightyear is around here somewhere when I say that, like “To infinity, and BEYOND!” Just my weird sense of humour!
This theme of being the breadwinner and feeling emotionally ready to make more money is something that came up recently on a call with an amazing client, and its so important that I wanted to bring it out into the light here on the podcast as well.
Theres a LOT of weight and pressure around this idea of being the breadwinner in your family, whether thats a traditional family or the amazing group of people you consider to be your family. Lets just throw traditional beliefs about what a family is right out the window, shall we?
The reason thats important is that most, if not all, of my clients identify as female or non-binary, which means in most cases they’ve come up against privilege and traditions around who is or who can be the primary income earner, or breadwinner.
I know plenty of people will shrug and wonder what the big deal is, and thats ok.
This episode probably isn’t FOR you, but it could help you understand a different perspective on what those around you are dealing with so you can be more supportive as they step up with more confidence to be a leader in their own life, and become the main breadwinner.
If you look back through history you can clearly see that females have been raised to be the support act, both at home and at work.
We’re mothers, carers, secretaries, assistants, nurses. Its a big deal for a woman to be a CEO, a CFO, the leader of a country. And those that DO step up to those kind of positions are subjected to SO much more criticism and scrutiny than their male counterparts are.
Its like how very DARE you want to LEAD?! The idea is preposterous! And it shouldn’t be!
But what if you HAVE to lead? Circumstances change, you thought you had more time to prepare, but suddenly its NOW.
Women weren’t legally allowed to be financially independent until the past 50 years or so. They couldn’t open a bank account without a husband or father co-signing it, they couldn’t take out a mortgage or rent a house without a spouse.
So many women remarried quickly when they couldn’t financially support their children because there were all these restrictions on them, purely based on gender. Its not that they necessarily WANTED to be dependent, they simply didn’t have the option available so they did what they had to do.
It blows my mind to think about that ever being a reality, yet we’re STILL coming up against these biases now, and its playing out in real time for non-binary people, basically anyone who identifies as ‘different’.
Its like “ok, now its YOUR turn, lets see how badly you want this. If you can keep it up long enough we ‘might’ make some changes and give you a little bit of room, but don’t hold us to that, ok?”
Thats how I see the patriarchy looking at it.
That comes from a place of privilege, those who have more power and influence compared to others.
We’re seeing a distinct shift in recent years where anyone who hasn’t had access to the same privilege as others, or they’ve had to fight for equality in some way, to be standing their ground and saying NO MORE! I’m SO DONE with this!
They’re taking back their power in the most incredible ways – starting a business, walking away from traditional employment, choosing their own path in life instead of simply accepting things as they’ve always been.
While thats incredibly scary to actually DO in so many ways, I want you to know that if you’ve got even the slightest inkling that you were meant for something bigger, better or MORE than the path society has you on, I’m here for you.
I’m the biggest cheerleader for everyone who is stepping up, taking action and dreaming big! I see you out there doing things, sharing ideas and becoming more of who you were always meant to be, and I’m so damn excited for you!
Nothing makes me prouder, happier or more excited than seeing people stepping up and becoming the breadwinner for you and your loved ones.
As I said before in some cases its because theres no other choice, and it really sucks to be pushed off that cliff before you’re ready.
For others, theres time and space to develop and grow into the mindset of being the primary income earner, but that still takes work.
Thats what I want to talk about today – helping you FEEL READY to be the breadwinner.
Theres a lot to unpack here and there are some practical elements that play a big part as well, so thats why I’ve decided to split this topic into two episodes.
Today we’re looking at the mindset and emotional side of being the primary income earner, the leader, the breadwinner.
And in next week’s coaching episode we’ll take a look at the practical elements you need to implement or consider as you make it your reality.
Honestly, it doesn’t matter WHAT level you’re at right now or what your situation is.
Every single one of us, me included, is more than capable of earning so much more through our businesses. The biggest thing that stops us – me included! – is our mindset and the emotions around what we think we’re worthy of earning.
That comes from generations of conditioning to be the support act, we’re not worthy or capable of being the leader. Except we ARE, we’ve been sold a story.
Just know that its an ongoing process, its never done, let’s just get on and do the work to be better each and every day than we were the day before.
In a nutshell, you need to have the mindset of someone who makes the money you WANT to be making, long before you actually achieve that goal.
Its all well and good to say you want a million dollar business, or a 6-figure business, whatever your goal might be. You’ve got to upgrade your mindset before you can upgrade your bank balance.
Lets dive into these mindsets of feeling ready to be a breadwinner!
1 – DECIDE TO STEP UP
Thats it. Just decide. Its simple, but it really doesn’t have to be any more complicated than that.
Do you want more in life, business, money? Cool! Decision made. You wanting more is a sign that you’re MEANT for more.
I can’t recall the exact wording or who even said it, but theres a saying around if you’re not growing in some way, you’re dying. Thats what staying where you are in the comfort zone ultimately is, a long slow death of unrealised potential.
Ugh that sounds TERRIBLE! So lets not do THAT! Theres so much fun and enjoyment to be had in the growth, learning and challenges out there waiting for you when you decide you’re stepping up and doing the work to make it happen.
Lets declare it out loud, right here, right now – “I choose to step up and be the breadwinner.”
This vocalisation matters because you’re putting your thoughts out into the world, you’re giving life and energy to it.
If you’re feeling a different energy in your body as you say it, pay attention to that. What is that feeling? Does it feel exciting? Does it feel scary?
If its a weird angsty feeling where the mind gremlins creep in and try to take you out as you say you’re choosing to step up and be a breadwinner, you can stop that immediately with some quick tapping, or EFT. Its a simple but effective tool to calm your nervous system and stop your mind from spiralling into negativity.
I did a whole episode about tapping a while back, so when you’re done with THIS episode hop on back to number 24 from March 2023, titled “How to release negative energy and turn your day around”. You’ll find the link in the show notes.
2 – NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES
I’m an eternal optimist, I’ll always find the bright side of any situation. And trust me there’s been some doozies!
But its a really smart idea to also be aware of the negative consequences of being the breadwinner.
What are the consequences of making more money?
The positives are obvious – more fun money to enjoy life, less stress, basically you can do whatever you want when you have more money.
The negatives aren’t so fun, but also necessary to consider.
More money means more visibility, more responsibility, more demands on your time.
🫣 What will people say when they discover you make more than your spouse or partner?
🫣 How will your spouse or partner react or feel about it?
🫣 What kind of responsibility will you have to add to your life?
🫣 Will you feel supported or are people likely to tear you down?
🫣 What are the tax or legal obligations of making more money?
Write down ALL the thoughts that come up for you when I say “What will happen if you’re the breadwinner and make more money?”
Even the most ridiculous things that you KNOW will never happen or really don’t matter. All of those thoughts play a part in how we step into this identity of being the breadwinner.
This is something else you can tap on, take whatever thoughts come up and tap through the points as you say them out loud. My list usually ends up with me laughing at the the ridiculousness of it all, and I feel so much lighter about it in the end.
3 – GET EMOTIONALLY READY FOR MORE MONEY
Oof, this is a BIG one!
If you’re not emotionally ready to make that money and become the breadwinner, you’re more likely to feel weird or guilty about it, especially if it happens relatively fast for you.
Think of all those people you hear about who are going about their average income lives, and suddenly BAM! They win the mega lottery and have hundreds of millions of dollars in their bank account. In most cases they have NO IDEA what to do, how to handle it, so they end up losing it all fairly quickly.
Those people weren’t emotionally ready for more money, and certainly not THAT amount of money!
We all like to think that wouldn’t be us, right? But the reality is, most of us are unprepared for a major POSITIVE change in our financial situation.
We prepare for the worst case scenario – if this thing fails I’ll go get a job! I’ll borrow money from somewhere, whatever it takes to keep my head above water. Which is great!
You need to prepare for a large in flow of money into your life and business.
For now I want you to know I have absolute confidence that every single one of you is capable of creating the results you want, so let’s make sure you’re ready to receive it with open arms!
An increase in your income means you’re on a new level, you have a new status as a high income earner and breadwinner, and that brings a whole bunch of new emotions that can trigger some unwanted behaviours.
Thats just 3 mindset challenges that come up when you start to consider what it means to be the breadwinner and making more money than you’ve ever done before, and more money than anyone else in your family – maybe even for generations. Thats a BIG DEAL!
I’m sure you’re familiar with the term imposter syndrome, thats a very real thing around money. Who am I to earn this much? People will figure out I’m an imposter who doesn’t really know anything and they’ll demand a refund.
And 1000 other variations of the same kind of thinking, that you’re somehow not good enough or not worthy of being a leader, not worthy of making more money, all the things.
Again, thats generational conditioning, every single one of us can think of a person who said something that took us out of the game.
A parent, a teacher, a sibling, a random kid at school, a co-worker, a boss, a potential boss in an interview situation who told you your income aspirations were way off base. ANYONE can say something that will trigger thoughts and feelings of not enoughness.
Strengthen your mindset and step into this identity of being the breadwinner so that you can actually BECOME the breadwinner.
If you’re familiar with Gay Hendricks’ book, The Big Leap, you’ll know about upper limits and how we’re ultimately holding ourselves back from achieving success. Its up to us to overcome that mindset and smash through the imaginary upper limit of what we think we’re worthy of earning, having, saving, spending, all of it.
This is also why I keep bringing it back to the money archetypes – when you understand your personality traits and how they influence your relationship with money, you can change whats not working so achieving the success you want feels easier, more in flow than a battle or struggle.
If you want to know more about the money archetypes hop on back to episode 3 called “Unlock the power of your money personality”, where I explain the traits and characteristics of all 8 money archetypes. Its fascinating stuff!
You can find out YOUR money archetypes by taking my Sacred Money Archetypes quiz. You’ll find the links to both the podcast episode and the quiz in the description and in the show notes.
Being the breadwinner doesn’t have to be hard work. But the work does start in your mind.
A big part of the work I do with clients is around mindset and stepping into a more empowered way of being, doing and having the things you want. I LOVE the shift in energy that happens when they realise how easy it can be, how amazing it can feel to have clear boundaries and standards in their life and business.
Setting the prices for your work, or negotiating a pay increase in your job becomes a lot less stressful when you KNOW your value, you’ve already stepped into this mindset of earning that money, the rest is just a matter of time and formality.
Thats what I’ve got for you today, get yourself emotionally ready to be the breadwinner! The practical stuff that we’ll go into next week will feel like a no brainer because you’re already thinking like someone who makes more money than your spouse, partner, parents, siblings or anyone else in your life.
Take care, have fun saying you’re the breadwinner, write it on a post it note “I am the breadwinner!”, and FEEL what its like to have that much financial power in your life. That’s how you become ready to BE the breadwinner.
I’ll catch you in the next episode!
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