Fun Business Fun Money Podcast
EP 095 – Want more time and energy? Drop the responsibility
“I am responsible for everyone and everything.”
Seven little words that pack a massive punch. But are you REALLY?
In this coaching episode I share a deeply personal ‘holy shizz OMG’ moment I had about feeling responsible, that I think a LOT of people, women especially, will relate to.
Let’s turn that around with a powerful mindset shift. You can quickly create more space to breathe when you release the weight of responsibility for everyone and everything.
KEY MENTIONS
Episode 24 “How to release negative energy and turn your day around”
Contact Deirdre via email, Facebook, Instagram or LinkedIn
TRANSCRIPT
Hey there, and welcome back to the Fun Business Fun Money podcast! I’m your host, Deirdre Amies.
I’ve got a really juicy and quite personal mindset episode for you today!
This actually came about from a massive aha moment I had recently while listening to Suzy Ashworth’s “Infinite Receiving” podcast. She did an episode with the fabulous Denise Duffield-Thomas.
Denise said something that hit so deep for me that I was kind of in shock for a good 10 to 15 minutes afterwards.
Which is probably not a good thing because I was driving at the time! Don’t worry, I wasn’t zoned out or anything, it more like this insight was echoing around in my mind so much that I KNEW I had some work to do around it.
What was this insight?
I am responsible for everyone and everything.
Seven little words that packed a massive punch for me.
Something I’ve talked about on the podcast before is how fired up and feisty I feel when I see people, women in particular, bearing the weight of responsibility.
ALL the feels come up, like “Hey! Thats not fair!” or “Why is this YOUR responsibility? Or MY responsibility?”
I can see that for others as clear as day, but it wasn’t until that moment that I suddenly saw it for MYSELF.
I am responsible for everyone and everything.
What does that look for me?
🙃 I can’t focus on my own business growth until everyone around me is taken care of, they’re on an even keel.
🙃 Its selfish of me to put my energy into my business if someone in my family is struggling in some way.
And all kinds of variations on that, but those are the two key themes.
How it can play out IRL…
The perfect example of this was when we made the decision to relocate from Sydney to Brisbane, which is about 1000km north.
Our kids are adults, they’re now 20 and almost 23. And yes, they came with us.
They’re very independent and self sufficient in so many ways. But I also knew they’d need my support to adjust to such a massive move. Its not like we were just moving around the corner, or even to a different area within Sydney!
It meant new friends, new jobs, navigating a new location, setting up a new house, its a LOT! A lot of responsibility!
Thats on top of coordinating the sale of one house, the purchase of another while in lockdown with state borders closed, and the actual move. All of which I mostly handled on my own because my hubby Chay was snowed under with work at the time.
Yes, I am responsible for everyone and everything.
Thats a big weight to carry on one person’s shoulders!
If thats hitting home for you too right now, I’m sending you a big virtual hug!
It might sound like nothing to some people but DAMN ITS EVERYTHING to other people.
Why is this a big deal for women?
Because we’ve been conditioned to be the carers, the nurturers, the responsible ones. We’re the home makers, the raisers of children.
🤷♀️ Women weren’t allowed to open a bank account without a man until the mid 1970s.
🤷♀️ Women weren’t allowed to take out a mortgage without a man until the 1970s either.
That is SO RIDICULOUS! Ugh, so annoying!
Apparently we’re not responsible enough to handle money, but somehow we’re more than responsible enough to handle literally everything else.
Even more so if you had to step up and take responsibility for your siblings at a young age, for countless reasons.
There’s an expectation that because you’re a woman you’ll be a great housekeeper AND a great cook. We all know THATS not true lol!
There’s still some basic responsibilities we all have to take…
There are always going to be certain responsibilities and obligations as a ‘functioning member of society’. (Thats an important distinction to make!)
You did something wrong? You bear responsibility for that, your obligation is to clean it up and minimise the impact on your fellow humans.
There’s obligations to your employer as well. You’re responsible for showing up on time, doing your work and contributing to the running of the company.
Where do you find more time and energy?
But what ELSE do you feel responsible for?
Where do you feel energetically pulled to handle things? To manage things? To take on tasks that really aren’t in your skillset, let alone in your zone of genius?
Your zone of genius is something that you can do, you love it, its effortless and it makes your heart sing.
Anything outside of that can probably be handled better by someone else.
THAT stuff is not your job. Its not your responsibility!
You don’t have to keep sacrificing your own joy and happiness in service to others.
I was going to say for the demands of others, but often the responsibility we bear hasn’t even been asked for! Nobody demanded it!
We simply put our hands up and say “I’ve got it! I’ll handle that.”
PUT. YOUR. HANDS. DOWN.
In fact, sit on your hands! And zip your mouth shut so you don’t utter those words without considering whether this is actually YOUR responsibility to deal with it.
More time exists behind healthy boundaries
This is about creating and enforcing healthy boundaries or yourself. Its ok to say “No, that doesn’t work for me. Someone else is better suited to this task.”
That, right there, was such an epiphany for me in that moment. Realising that I don’t have to be responsible for everyone and everything.
I can’t control your enjoyment or experience of life, thats on you. I can control mine. Thats on me, not you.
That time my birthday plans were taken out by responsibility…
It had a flow on effect to my recent birthday. My one request, ONE, was to have the day to myself (everyone else was at work anyway!).
I wanted to do whatever I wanted to do and have no responsibility for anyone else. Including cooking dinner or even deciding what we were going to have.
It didn’t pan out that way unfortunately, and there was some resentment to work through around that.
But the big gift in all of it was that very first step of acknowledging that I am actually not responsible for everyone and everything. And I don’t feel guilty about it AT ALL.
Feeling guilty about enforcing boundaries, saying no, feeling like you’re letting someone down, you’re being selfish, ugh! All of that is natural.
Just feel the feelings, recognise them for what they are. Think of them like an echo of the past, maybe not even YOUR past. It could be a hangover from generations back.
Women WERE made to feel guilty for wanting more in life than raising a family and tending the home. We STILL are. And it needs to stop.
That happens when we stop allowing someone else’s opinion or beliefs about what we are responsible for to make us feel bad, or stupid, or anything other than loved and supported as a human being.
How can you apply this to your business and money?
You can…
🤨 Strip everything back to basics.
🤨 Get rid of anything and everything that feels like a heavy weight of responsibility on you.
🤨 If you can’t eliminate it? Delegate or outsource it to someone else who is better suited to it.
🤨 All the things you’ve accepted responsibility for? They’re really not in your wheel house!
🤨 If you’re not tech-minded, ditch that responsibility and hand it over to someone better suited to it.
🤨 If you don’t love data or crunching the numbers, hand the bookkeeping and analytics over to someone else.
I want you to write this down…
Just because I CAN, doesn’t mean I SHOULD.
Thats not your job, its not your responsibility, ok? 🤨
You create more space to breathe when you release the weight of responsibility for everyone and everything.
You create more space for the things you SAY you want to do, but never have the time or energy for.
You create more space for new clients, more money, more growth, more FUN!
You are not responsible for everyone or everything, my friend.
SO! Thats what I’ve got for you today!
Like I said at the start, a little deep and personal, but a very practical mindset insight for you nonetheless.
If this has hit home and brought some stuff up for you, get out your journal and jot down your thoughts. Thats what I did when it hit me, it was a holy shizz download of epic proportions lol!
And then I tapped through it. So head on back to episode 24 if you want to know more about “How to release negative energy and turn your day around” using tapping, or EFT.
Or, you know, you can just tick off another episode of the Fun Business Fun Money podcast and carry on with your day! Totes up to you, its not my responsibility to make sure you do something with it lol!
Take care, have fun ditching any and all unnecessary responsibilities, and I’ll catch you in the next episode.
Want to make a BIG SHIFT in your business?
IGNITE private coaching could be the answer you’re looking for! Click here to check out the details, or send me a message for a quick chat about which option is the best one for you right now.
0 Comments